Christmas is coming and the wishes are piling up for where Santa might be. Some may have special requests, and this can lead to family discussions in a busy pre-Christmas season, as this pre-Christmas story shows.
We sat low and reclined in each of our old armchairs in front of the fireplace, as we often do in the evenings, with noses turned way down in the shape of a slight kiosk reading and thoughts far away. From the outside, I'm sure we're the picture of a solid old married couple whose excitement wanes as we go about our daily lives, as does our interest in last year's reality celebrities with cool tattoos and navel piercings. Two middle-aged, appropriately short-lived spouses whose glory days, if they ever existed, have long since faded away.
Nevertheless, we are quite happy, the old man and I, and if wealth could be measured by the number of smiles exchanged, small touches or paired silences in couples, we would certainly be called rich. The husband, a powerhouse with more hair on his chest than on the top of his head, a mechanic by trade, hence large, rough-working hands with ingrown gear oil in pores and grooves, placed a pair of shabby wool slippers a solid 47 on top of the footstool in front of the crackling flames. You know what they say about men with big feet? Big feet, huge slippers!
Favorite read epub
He immersed himself in his absolute favorite reading and flipped reverently through the latest issue of Norsk Bobil and Caravan magazine. It's hard to connect with your husband when he's sitting like this, daydreaming in glossy pictures of RVs of various sizes and price ranges. Out of the corner of my eye I see him studying various interiors and mechanical devices while dreaming of accessories, exteriors, top speed and polished body. If only he could win the lottery, it would have been his own car. So far, this middle-aged husband with hairy breasts and heavy woolen slippers has yet to prioritize mortgages, and three sons live at home in their late teens. But if only he wins the lottery .
In the meantime, we're borrowing our father-in-law's relatively new Fiat Ducato. Such a whimsical little thing that glides on the plateau over the mountain as easily as through narrow streets in remote towns. Now such a snotty little city camper may not be ideal for two above average and slightly overeaten people with stomachs bigger than common sense, especially considering the legs are too long to close the door while we do our necessities, and the We sleep in the fetal position, at a crossroads and in a double knot so as not to blunt toes and heads in the body, but it's better than nothing.
Living room dream
But to dream of your own RV with room to empty your bowels behind closed doors and stretch your body at night without cracking your skull and puncturing your frontal lobe, this must be allowed. the old man turns back and forth and sugar is delighted. "Look here!" he says! "They have one of those cup holder dashboards with tape nn that won't slip! They also have such a mat with non-slip surface where you can put keys and progressive glasses with and without sunglass filters! Sure works for loose change too! Was great for change in the toll booth . If there were such toll rings then longer needed coins! "
The old man is completely in his own world.
I myself flip through a glossy Christmas magazine at the local mall and am almost charmed by a beautiful coat in deep red color with removable faux fur on the collar. "Look at this friend, you could have bought this for me for you Ju." But the old man doesn't realize I'm even talking and interrupts me with a big and delighted, "Wooooaaahhh . Hot air oven AND bird house for the awning, shaped like a caravan . Faderuallan so creative! No, we just HAVE to have it in the RV . "
MUST have list
He finds a pen and notepad and starts the list of things we just HAVE to have, for the car we don't even really own! Cup holder, climate mat for coins we can't use in the toll rings that no longer exist, hot air oven, and birdhouse shaped like a caravan. He drums the pen against the end of his nose a little impatiently as he rolls along. "I also write down a bread with a base so that it becomes a small serving tray. Nice to have. Also a loose travel radio for those places where we can't get signals through the stereo system . the travel radio has the shape of a combi store . what they do nowadays, so . bring two I! Nice to have! Do we need a separate small pot for pasta? "
I flip through my Christmas magazine and get to the lingerie pages. Such a marble thin model with a suspiciously towering upper in a Christmas red bra with lace from here to eternity smiles seductively at the fashion photographer. I hold the picture out to the old man and coo as softly and horse-like as I can: "Then imagine me in this little lace case! Your own little "sassy" sexy santa girl lissom . Do you think Santa will put a pen like this under my tree this year or? " I try to get his attention by trying to squeeze some well used saggy tits in the middle while doing a classic trout mouth as a goldfish in a bowl and fluttering my eyelashes flirtatiously.
Christmas tree on battery
The old man seems eager a split second! -"Christmas tree!! There you are now! There are those Christmas trees that are battery operated, rotate by themselves and flashing lights, those that can be placed on the dashboard in the motorhome! We must have this. I'll put it on the list! " – "But we don't drive in the winter!", Answer I wondered! – "The car is stored in the barn for…" – "THE DEAF . They also have Christmas curtains for the back window . We bring it and! Now there is a real Christmas atmosphere in the shopping cart! ". A tiny moment when the old man notices more unnecessary necessities to make the ink splash I flip through the Christmas magazine and wonder if it's even worth mentioning that tomorrow at the Coop is half price for ribs, but I quickly realize that I'm hardly going to reach in now that the old man has obviously turned on the "man switch" has switched on in the cerebellum and is in action mode!
Gadgets and online stores
For a long time he stays like this with his nose way down in Norsk Bobil and Caravan magazine, delving into dupedits and links to online stores with tempting two for one and ten for thirteen offers, while chuckling, smiling, ordering and annotating. As the flames in the fireplace go out for the evening, the old man happily wipes the sweat from his forehead with his forearm before proudly presenting as a rooster three A4 pages, a neatly written wish list of gadgets and much needed dill -dall of the highest quality.
Cup holder, climate mat for coins we can't use in the defunct toll rings, hot air oven, and caravan shaped bird house. Self-propelled flashing battery-operated Christmas tree and Christmas curtains for the rear window and two radios in the form of a combi-storage unit. Doormat for indoors and outdoors, with the texts "Welcome" and "welcome back" (clever thing!), ham and hemorrhoid heater for driver and passenger seat, electric massage cushion with built-in dab radio for the headrests, oilcloth for the camping table, the camping table for the oilcloth, mosquito candles with Fiat logo and a lighter for mosquito candles.
Matching barbecue suits for men and women, slippers with non-slip soles in the same colors as the barbecue suits, sign for the rear window with the text "Does if you love camping", bread foil with removable folding base, LED lights for the awning, awning for the LED lights, Kettle for pasta, a year of pasta ration, a corkscrew with the logo of the store as it pertains to shopping for gastronomic amounts, and a stainless steel dog cage that fits just under the bed actually a little too short for two large and slightly overweight motorhome enthusiasts.
Yes, the old man's wish list is a little masterpiece. Now only one thing is missing. A dog for the dog cage made of stainless steel…. Yes, because we didn't have a Labrador or an English Setter or Trendsetter and never had a dog before, but the cage was offered. Yes, for all these very important accessories we then also lack our own camper, but who cares about such small details in an otherwise good shopping plan? Good "wheel, then you! May Santa be extra generous this year.